the13thfairy: (Default)
To everyone...

I hope the food coma doesn't last too terribly long.

We slept like 12 hours last night. We got up at 4:30 yesterday to get here in time (just in case traffic was extra *special* since it's taken us over 4 hours to get here in the past) and ended up getting here by 9:15 (2 hours is not bad at all). Yesterday was a LONG day but we got to meet [ profile] cruz531's little sisters serious sweetie (which was the main point of getting up here - apparently she was majorly stressed about us meeting him, but he's nice so no worries so far).

So I hope that you all had a reasonably good day.
the13thfairy: (Maple)
So this past Turkey Day Cruz and I went up to spend a couple of days with his Dad and some siblings. We spent a lovely day with his Dad and his step-mom, his older step-brother (and his son and girlfriend), his younger step-sister (and her husband and three children) and his younger half-sister. Sadly his little brother (and his wife and daughter) could not be there.

We stayed over through late Friday and we went to see "Enchanted" with the 'rents and the oldest nephew. Cruz and his dad actually got to spend a little time talking and hanging out, which almost never happens when we go to visit cause it's usually such a quick trip we don't have time for extra visiting. Having that time was lovely, Cruz was just really happy all the way home.
the13thfairy: (CruzSilly)
My user icon is from the morning of our wedding not quite 4 years ago (and about 150 pounds ago for me and about 35 pounds ago for Cruz). I was getting my manicure and Cruz came over and kissed my head.

This pic was taken last Tuesday, October 16, at lunch at Fentons in Oakland after his Grandmothers funeral. Not a bad pic actually. I need to get more now that I don't mind them being taken so much. Sadly Cruz appears to be almost incapable of taking a good picture of me.

Now that the 15 hour days are ceasing, I have gained 5 pounds (cause I am not burning so many calories just to keep going). But I am working on getting rid of it. Trying to get better with my water and such and stop snacking so much. Of course candy in a bowl on my desk at work does not help - I need to move that to somewhere else cause it's within arms reach now. I have decided that no matter how comfortable I am at 220, I really would like to get below 200 because I have never been below 200 as an adult. It is something completely unknown and new for me, something I can barely comprehend. So I need to get cracking on getting better with my food and need to do something, anything really, about exercise. Need to find time to get back to Curves.

I also need to get back on journaling this process. Just cause I have lost 75% of my excess weight, and am therefore considered a success, does not mean my journey is over. Just because I have moments of feeling "normal" - buying something off the rack from Old Navy, or the Disney Store - does not mean I AM normal. I am still an obese person, someone with a weight problem who needs to use the $100+K tool I have (yes I have seen all the bills for my surgery). Besides, who wants to be normal?? Normal is boring... :) I have never been normal, why start now? Why not continue down the road to being uniquely me, but with more energy and better clothes? That sounds MUCH more fun!

Something I have been saying to myself recently is "I may always be big, but I don't have to be fat". That's part of why I had the surgery. The "big" reference is not exactly in regards to my weight since I am 5'10", cause I will always be that height. But being 220 now is good, getting to 199 will be my next big goal. It's good to have goals.

I will try to get more pics up.

7/10/06 RNY with Gallbladder Removal
Dr. Ajay Upadhyay
Summit Medical Center, Oakland, CA
5'10" (376) 346/220/180
the13thfairy: (Default)
Tuesday, 2pm (that's 10/16)...

Mountain View Cemetery
The Home Of Eternity Chapel

Now I get to figure out what to wear when everything is too big...
the13thfairy: (Favorite Holbein)
The movie was good, we saw some friends. Wish we could have spent more time all around but we're very happy with the time we got. Thank you all so much for carving out some time for us from your schedules.

We still want to do some sort of social and for no other reason thing. Once the funeral is over we'll see what Cruz is feeling up to. The funeral is this Tuesday, likely in the afternoon.

Right now he's pulling cinnamon rolls out of the oven, and then we have to run some laundry.

And the rest of the day is a little up in the air. We may have to go spend time with his mom, we may go get pedicures (this is more important than you might think with his neuropathy in his feet), or we may just try to get some stuff around the house organized a little.

If anyone wants to drop by give a call first, you are more than welcome, while it is VERY likely we will be here we might not. The house is a mess and shoe-horning people in will be more interesting than normal - but we'll do it. We know a lot of you are at the BayCon meeting we just could not cope with and we hope that goes well.

We're gonna try and get everything back on track. We're sorry about falling behind on so much recently.
the13thfairy: (Default)
No time yet, at Piedmont Cemetery - which is actually the Mountain View Cemetery in Oakland.

the13thfairy: (Default)
We got dressed up and went to temple last night. The temple here in Alameda that is reform and open to non Jewish spouses and family members. The one that was so welcoming and felt so right that Cruz's mom left the temple she grew up in, and that her grandfather was one of the founders of, to join.

But I digress... funnily enough it was Friday Night Chai (Chair = Life) and it's where the cantor leads the evening with LOTS of singing and it's a rather upbeat tone. One of the things I love about Jewish services is that they pray by singing, but this is more singing than normal I believe.

And again I digress.. And when Cruz realized what it was he looked like he wanted to leave and I made him think about what was more important. That he was here? Or what the focus of the service was? I also tried to get him to let the Rabbi know that Gramma had passed since he had seen her that afternoon but he just wasn't responding.

When we got to the prayer for healing and Dorothy's name came up that kinda broke him. And when it came time at the end for those who had passed and the Rabbi asked for additional names and Cruz stood up and named her, Rabbi Bennet paused a moment, a little surprised I think since he had just seen her and had gotten to the care facility a few minutes after Cruz left.

Cruz told me at dinner afters that he felt better for having gone.

Right now he is on his way over to the family temple in Oakland, the one his great-grandfather helped found (and who also has one of the big bronze holiday windows in the sanctuary dedicated to him). Because his grandparents were of course lifelong members. And while they were not able to go frequently in recent years, there are people there who will want to know. His grandfather was president of the Board and his Gramma was heavily involve with the sisterhood.

And they are barely tolerant of anyone not Jewish. This truly broke Cruz's heart when he took me there when we started dating. Actually the people are pleasant enough, it's the Rabbi... A waste of my air. Apparently he had the TEMERITY and absolute GALL to get into how Cruz's mom should make arrangements for her mother based on HIS schedule and HIS days off. Way to go champ, what a lovely way to serve the community.

Anyway he will be back in a little bit, and then we will figure out the rest of our day. It might involve pedicures, it might involve going to see "Elizabeth, the Golden Age" it might involve staying around the house watching DVD's or trying to catch up on some house stuff.

Cruz loves the idea of seeing friends - you guys just don't know how much strength he draws from friends or how important you all are to him.

We might be around today, those of you who have our numbers feel free to call and check in. Cruz was thinking a group to see the movie might be good.

Just got a call - he's coming home. Dealing with temple is too much.
the13thfairy: (Stars will cry)
Around 5:30 today. Cruz sat with her and talked to her until about 3:30 and then came home, I left work at 5:15.

Rest In Peace
Dorothy Adolph Lutz
Born - December 10, 1923
Died - October 12, 2007

Now we get to worry about his Grandfather, who we don't expect to last long without his Grandmother around.

Cruz is ok but shaky, not certain what happens now. That gathering looks a bit more likely as he will need friends more than normal.

We'll figure something out. But, please understand if we are not so much with the social for a little bit what with this and my father's Jahrzeit this month too - we might be a little bit overloaded. Neh?

** Just confirmed with his mom - 5:35pm today.
the13thfairy: (Default)
Ah, so this morning as I am leaving the house we are talking about the "HoneyDo" list for Cruz - and right up topside is Cruz going out to visit his Gramma (which he rescheduled from yesterday).

And I get a call a little while ago, that his mom got a call from the care home. That Gramma has gotten MUCH worse, bad enough that they can no longer put an amount to the time she has left. We went from "she's got two weeks", to "a week" to "we don't know" pretty much overnight. So he is out there and dealing with his schtuff around this, and likely his moms, and his Grandpa (who is in a different room but the same facility) and his uncle and his brother, and, and, and. And he is usually the one to be the even keel. Oh boy!

Granted she's been this bad before and pulled through.

But I suspect with the End Stage Dementia it means that the body is really ready this time - and that she may already be "gone" to some extent. And perhaps, even though we just got her into the good care home, she finally feels safe enough to let go.

The Powers That Be know she's been through enough health wise in the last 5 years. She's a sweet and lovely lady and it's been very hard seeing her hanging on, and watching everyone stubbornly hanging onto her. However this works out, I hope it truly is for the best for HER. The living will cope, we always do on some level.

Just got a call - she's completely unresponsive. The Rabbi is apparently supposed to put in an appearance. His uncle and brother just left a little while ago, his mom is, well, his mom...

Thanks to all for your good thoughts. We truly appreciate them.

If we happen to put something together, where we just want to see friends for the sake of seeing friends, would you come? We might need that sort of thing without any other reason like a con or something. I know Cruz really thrives on time with friends - it's part of WHY we do cons. But I think he may just need the time with friends - it will be a crucial part of his healing. The challenge will be finding time in everyone's schedules this time of year (I know it's a crazy time for most of us), and space for people (if it's raining or too cold to use our yard). But it could be majorly good for Cruz.
the13thfairy: (Default)
Well it appears we now get to do dishes to cover our tab...

As yesterday we found out that Cruz's grandmother is actively dying. Like no bowel function, cannot eat dying. She has a DNR and an order for no heroic efforts in her chart and they have her on IV meds to ease her pain and the End Stage Dementia that has set in.

But yeah - she's got about a week. And Cruz is a wreck. And we just last week got her settled into the care home she's been on the waiting list for.

Life just gets better and better.
the13thfairy: (Cari Bath)
So Dad's Wake/Memorial service was last night at Greyhaven. And lemme just get this said right now - I looked STUNNING. Ok - now back to the report... clicky )
the13thfairy: (Hel - Hella)
Today whilst at the wedding I received a phone call at about 12:29 pm from my uncle. My father passed away at about 12:10 this afternoon while my uncle was sitting with him. I called my sister and stepmom and told them - so they have each other to get through this with. My uncle tried to contact our brother with no luck - I hope he tracks him down soon.

Michael Lee Mohle'
B: 10/7/44
D: 10/29/06

It's for the best, really. He had a major stroke 10 years ago, which was only 2 years after I found him. Which is why I rather think of him as a stranger - I was just getting to START to know him when the stroke happened. He fell and broke his pelvis 2 years ago and was mostly in a wheelchair recently. At our wedding 3 years ago was the last time he was really ambulatory - and I am SO glad I have pictures. I know he is out of pain now.

Hella - Lady of my ancestors and his, hold him and comfort him in this time.

If you are so inclined a candle or somesuch would not be out of order.

There will be no big viewing/memorial service. We are looking into what it will take to get his ashes back to Maryland for interment in the family plot with his Parents and Grandparents. We're not quite certain how to handle it, but we will find out.

If I bow out of commitments or am a little touchy for a while - you now have some idea why this may happen and why I have been touchy for a littlw while now and will continue to be so.

Family Fu

Aug. 28th, 2006 10:27 am
the13thfairy: (Cari Bath)
OK - so last weekend (Aug 20th) [ profile] cruz531's cousin Chris got married. Chris's folks (Aunt Judy and Uncle Frank - Cruz's dads younger brother) and all three of his brothers (Jerod, Brandon & Patrik) came into town for this.

This was the first time I had met Jerod since he now lives in NY. Chris lives in Fremont and we have run into him at the last couple of BayCons. I last saw Aunt Judy, Uncle Frank and Patrik 4 years ago when we went to visit them in Tucson. Patrik was like 5 at the time and had a broken leg - he doesn't remember us from then, but that is ok.

[ profile] cruz531's Aunt Judy is crazy and wonderful and loves me and Cruz utterly - apparently we are her favorite niece and nephew. Part of that is directly tied into the fact that Judy is about 10 years younger than Frank - and when they got together apparently the family, as it were, really didn't do a lot to welcome her and were VERY suspicios of her, and downright mean by all accounts. Everyone except Cruz was like this - he accepted her immediately, and that has stayed with her. And even though I have often not been certain what most of Cruz's family thinks of me, I have NEVER been in doubt with Judy. She loved me from the moment she first spoke to me on the phone - cause she is the LAST person to ostracize someone AND cause I am with Cruz (who she calls "her baby"). She's just an amazing person who is dealing with a TON of health stuff. She has RSD (reflux sympathetic dystrophy) which made her permanently disabled at the age of 29, she also has full blown Lupus, and some other stuff I don't even know the specifics on. And she not only has to take care of herself, but also Uncle Frank (who got the genetic short straw health wise and has started developing Parkinsons, is in a wheelchair, and has numerous other things going on) and she has their youngest son Patrick (who is 9, and has ADD and could easily manifest a bunch of the same health stuff). Their next up son Brandon is like 19 and has Rheumatoid Arthritis AND Lupus - so yeah, bad juju health wise.

But with what she's got going on I know it's hard enough - add two other people completely dependent on you? Wow - she's one of the strongest people I know. She used to be a paramedic in San Jose, drove an ambulance and all that.

So - they came and stayed with us Friday night (don't even ask how we got THREE more people in our house) and that didn't work so well so we put them in a nearby hotel on Saturday night. They wanted Patrik to see some of the City - so we went to Pier 39. Turns out Dave Prowse (Darth Vader) was there doing an autograph stunt so we got to meet him (my second time actually - I met him like 30 years ago) and we got to do some shopping and see the Sea Lions and just have a tourist day. And you know what? I may hate SF - but it was nice to just burn the day and not worry too much about stuff. There is a Bare Escentuals/Bare Minerals store there and I let them do some demo makeup on me - its nice and really does the natural sunblock thing.

We then went over the Golden Gate bridge to go to [ profile] cruz531's brother Brian's house in San Rafael. We stopped on the Marin side of the bridge so Patrik could see it - it was COLD and overcast and WINDY and I LOVED it - my favorite weather. Once we were at Brians we met up with [ profile] cruz531's Mom and her boyfriend and we had a week late First birthday party for our niece (Brian's daughter Bella).

Then we came home cause we were all DONE and dog tired. Sunday was a short trip to Children's Fairyland in Oakland and I spent some time doing some beadwork (which I have not done in AGES) and when Judy and co. got back from Fairylan they watched the video of our wedding (cause they couldn't come) and then went to Judy's mom's house in fremont.

So yeah - when you hear me mention that our weekend was derailed due to family - that's what I mean. Not in a bad way - but we did not expect them to stay around for so long after the weekend.
the13thfairy: (Kelaeno - Storm Singer Harpy)
Hi all - I just got off the phone with my Step-mom (some of you know her as Sharon Devlin, she plays harp and was in the local group Sheila na Gig in the late 70's around here).

Apparently when my step dad - Sean Folsom - was at the open memorial event at Leigh Ann's house his set of small NorthUmbrian bag pipes disappeared (they are arm bellows driven, not bag). Sean and Leigh ann used to play music together years ago - so he felt it appropriate that he play the pipes that day.

Anyways - while I was not at this event at the house, I have heard from several people that because there was the intent to give away some of Leigh Ann's things (I have her Sehkmet statue) it was a bit crazy at the house that day.

We think that someone might have picked up the pipes thinking that they were Leigh Anns and fair game for the taking. We all know how musical she was, so it was an easy mistake to make. Sadly they weren't Leigh Ann's - and it is obvious it was someone who does not know pipes as they only took the pipes part and not the arm bellows, so they won't even work.

These pipes are vital to the musical performances that my step parents do which is how they earn their living. Sean has had them for over 30 years and they cannot afford to replace them.

So we are asking for the return of the pipes, no questions asked. Or hopefully some information if anyone reading this was at the event and happens to recall seeing the pipes or anyone with a set of small bag pipes who was NOT my step dad. Any and all assistance would be appreciated. I am certain Leigh Ann would not want a musician to suffer because he lost one of his main instruments at her memorial.

Please help get the pipes home. They can be gotten to me, and I can get them to my folks no problem.

Please feel free to link to this entry if you feel it migh help.
the13thfairy: (Cari Bath)
Saturday I called my step mom and found out that my newest Newphew was born that morning! She gave me the number so that I could talk to my sister [ profile] jauncort in the hospital. Mother and Baby are fine, Daddy and older brother are fine. This makes me happy.

Yay! So I say to the world, Please welcome James.

The rest of the details are my sisters' to share, not mine.

Now I want to go out there more than ever. *sigh* I really cannot put into words exactly how much I miss my sister or how badly I want to see her and the family. When I mapquest it, it's only a little more than 30 hours straight out there, with Cruz and I alternating we could make it pretty quick and back again too. Yes I am insane and thinking of driving out. THAT is how much I miss her.


the13thfairy: (Default)

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